Eight is Surely Enough

P,

As I anticipate the imminent arrival of the other P, her own four cherubs and one of mine, I pause to reflect upon the fact that she is flying with five children.  Her husband, inevitably, is busy with work, and will join much later.  I have only one word of advice for her fearless journey: Xanax in abundant supply.   

I've made a significant decision to remove the mask of domestic perfection (it is, I freely admit, my cross to bear), and confess my rather panicky anticipation of the week.  I fear my full-time role will be reduced to delivering sustenance and entertainment to the sixteen pairs of underage eyes gazing upon me.  Therefore, I have decided to approach the children, all eight of them, much like I would hostile combatants.  Yes, even the baby, as I fear she is the strongest insurgent among them.  Like any enemy, children are generally o.k. in limited numbers and when separated from their strongest supporters, i.e., other children.  Hence, I will refuse all outings involving all eight at once as this is when they are likely to stage a coup.  Although I can always lure the youngers in with candy, who knows what kind of preteen blackmail hell the olders may be capable of. 

P, if you don't hear from me by the middle of next week, please send the best anti-terror unit in DC to my address.  Someone well able to look past the sweet innocence of their faces would be a plus.  But please do use some discretion as I don't want to sully the permanent records of my own cherubs.  I do, after all, have their future applications to boarding school to consider.

Faithfully,

C.

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