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P,

As it's clear that hubby and I have far exceeded the natural limits of human tolerance and mangement capacity with four cherubs, I'm considering asking hubby to go under the knife to end his future reproductive capacity.  Although there are certainly methods I can use to avoid childbirth in the future (only some of which involve the word "no" and most of which involve menopause) I've realized there is a far larger worry to be considered: hubby's unending potential for fathering children other than mine.

It's not that hubby exhibits the classic signs of one likely to cheat, at least not on the surface.  It's just that his well-ingrained midwestern nature, including both shame and guilt as overriding emotional components, make it less likely he would prepare for a moment in which he might encounter a willing partner.  Setting aside my dread of disease and dimemberment (his, if caught in such an act), it's entirely possible, dearest P, that hubby could father other children well into his old age, a fact I find has more than the usual distate brought about by a Michael Douglas/Catherine Zeta Jones kind of relationship. 

Of course, one must also consider our dear family internist's viewpoint, who recently suggested a vasectomy was a bad idea: who knew if hubby's next wife, potentially still in high school, wants to bear his offspring as well--a matter only to be considered if the first family was, natually, tragically killed in a sudden and might I suggest, suspicious, accident.  I'll of course follow-up later for the name of a new doctor, but I think his viewpoint gives me additional reason to act quickly: what if some of the cherubs survived and were cast aside by the step-monster in favor of her own offspring?

It is, therefore, with some urgency that I beg you to consider how I might convince hubby of my point of view.  Think of the cherubs, P, to whom I may already have denied the pleasure of abundance by their sheer numbers.  And let's save the world from one more younger wife who gets all the benefit of the maturity we have yet to see in our spouses.

Faithfully,

C. 

Comments

[Dixie]

This is HILARIOUS. I, too, hope to never be left for a younger woman. Here's to hoping that I will be that woman, rather than the old hag that gets left. However, I don't think it's in my nature to be a home-wrecker.