Dear C,
At first, I thought you were writing to me about an entirely different subject matter, but I am glad to hear that hubby at least pays attention long enough to meet your needs during the act itself. My problem is the opposite. I find it increasingly hard, if not impossible, to pay any kind of attention to the oldballandchain, sexual or otherwise. Between yoga, tennis, Pilates, drinks at the Club and, oh, of course, children, I barely have time to shower, let alone engage in any kind of physical activity that doesn't have its ultimate goal the preservation of my rapidly aging body. And what, precisely is all this frenetic effort to slow down the treadmill of time for, you might ask, if not to be able to present a respectible physical specimen to one's spouse between the marital sheets? As if! In fact, as any member of the female sex knows, women exercise in order to compete with their female peers, not to attract their husband's attention. Indeed, is there a married woman alive who wouldn't frankly prefer a relaxing massage to the prospect of a physical mawling from her mate?
As for your quaint notion of compiling a honey-do list that must be completed prior to the granting of sexual favors, it's a lovely idea, but one that quickly founders on the rocks of male procrastination (at least in my experience). Unless the consequences of non-compliance are ruthlessly and consistently enforced, such agreements rapidly degenerate into pissing matches about who failed to call the plumber, and why the aggrieved party sooner or later finds herself having to do everything around here. It's not exactly conducive to marital harmony or getting things fixed around the house, even if it does lead to some great hate sex.
P.
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